Thoughts in the night
Your mother had a little spate of kicking at a phantom in a night-mare this last night. I comforted her and she went back to sleep. Not, however, before I carressed her arms and made her comfortable.
Reminded me of a fellow named Carmichael. He was not only a musician, a great one at that, or a composer, also great one, he was also a wonderful philosopher.
He wrote a song and the refrain goes like this:
For it's a long long time from May to December
But the days grow short when you reach September
And the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame
I haven't got time for the waiting game
As the days dwindle down
To a precious few
September, November
And these few precious days
I'll spend with you
These golden days
I'll spend with you.
That, my dears, is what has happened. There is no infinte time. Your mother had dwindled, as have I. We both are in that December time when life is now finite and no longer infinite.
Your mother had weight and heft, but she has no muscular structure to her body. She's got very little on her bones. Her wrists are mostly bone. Her fingers are bone. Her ankles and knees have little to protect her from a fall or even a slight injury could turn into a disaster. Her Parkinson's is severe as is Bell's Palsy, but we had her dentures fixed and that's a lot better for her.
The lines people think of age are, to me, lines of wisdom. That she has lots of lines means she's gained more wisdom over these years! And her mind is sharp and for what it's worth, remembers better than I do. Often.
And, she goes on.
That is the story.
We go to a store to shop and she will do one store, but at another she asks if she can trust me to get the things by myself. It's not that she doesn't want to go in, but she cannot come to admit that she's unable to handle more than just one store at a time. She has to have her walker with her or use the electric carts the stores provide.
The last trip she made to NY was not JUST to visit with you, Sandra, but it was her knowing it might be the last time to have the strength and will to make it. And your visit here was the same, might be the last time....
And, as you know, she won't be going anywhere soon. She's a reader and a thinking woman. To me she's still the prettiest girl at the party. Those lines? Remember, they are lines of wisdom.
I suggest that she would and does LOVE to talk to you. She knows you have another life to live and can't just pop in anytime she wants you, but she does enjoy talking and listening to you. So, DO NOT hesitate to call and just visit. Tell her your stories and be there for her. If you get the opportunity to come this way, don't hesitate for she would love to see you anytime!
We all are finite. We all have a finality. But we are going to fight it all the way to the end.
We both have years left, but now they are only years, dwindling from decades. Now we are closer and closer to days and shortly after that moments in time.
Share those with her as often as you can.
She loves you all very much. She has never had a moment that she didn't. Nor I.
Some moments more than others, but never a lost moment of love deep in her heart for you. As do I.
So, loves, we both are here and we both love you very much.
Almost 49 years ago I made a commitment and that was to spend my life with this woman. And I've done it and never one second regretted having done so. She's the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and I, my loves, was very lucky to have her bring you along with her!
This is long, but I wanted you to know this now and not later when it could have been tragic news.
Keep in mind Joe Cokers' words to his song: You are so beautiful to me....
Love and forever to all of you from both of us!
Reminded me of a fellow named Carmichael. He was not only a musician, a great one at that, or a composer, also great one, he was also a wonderful philosopher.
He wrote a song and the refrain goes like this:
For it's a long long time from May to December
But the days grow short when you reach September
And the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame
I haven't got time for the waiting game
As the days dwindle down
To a precious few
September, November
And these few precious days
I'll spend with you
These golden days
I'll spend with you.
That, my dears, is what has happened. There is no infinte time. Your mother had dwindled, as have I. We both are in that December time when life is now finite and no longer infinite.
Your mother had weight and heft, but she has no muscular structure to her body. She's got very little on her bones. Her wrists are mostly bone. Her fingers are bone. Her ankles and knees have little to protect her from a fall or even a slight injury could turn into a disaster. Her Parkinson's is severe as is Bell's Palsy, but we had her dentures fixed and that's a lot better for her.
The lines people think of age are, to me, lines of wisdom. That she has lots of lines means she's gained more wisdom over these years! And her mind is sharp and for what it's worth, remembers better than I do. Often.
And, she goes on.
That is the story.
We go to a store to shop and she will do one store, but at another she asks if she can trust me to get the things by myself. It's not that she doesn't want to go in, but she cannot come to admit that she's unable to handle more than just one store at a time. She has to have her walker with her or use the electric carts the stores provide.
The last trip she made to NY was not JUST to visit with you, Sandra, but it was her knowing it might be the last time to have the strength and will to make it. And your visit here was the same, might be the last time....
And, as you know, she won't be going anywhere soon. She's a reader and a thinking woman. To me she's still the prettiest girl at the party. Those lines? Remember, they are lines of wisdom.
I suggest that she would and does LOVE to talk to you. She knows you have another life to live and can't just pop in anytime she wants you, but she does enjoy talking and listening to you. So, DO NOT hesitate to call and just visit. Tell her your stories and be there for her. If you get the opportunity to come this way, don't hesitate for she would love to see you anytime!
We all are finite. We all have a finality. But we are going to fight it all the way to the end.
We both have years left, but now they are only years, dwindling from decades. Now we are closer and closer to days and shortly after that moments in time.
Share those with her as often as you can.
She loves you all very much. She has never had a moment that she didn't. Nor I.
Some moments more than others, but never a lost moment of love deep in her heart for you. As do I.
So, loves, we both are here and we both love you very much.
Almost 49 years ago I made a commitment and that was to spend my life with this woman. And I've done it and never one second regretted having done so. She's the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and I, my loves, was very lucky to have her bring you along with her!
This is long, but I wanted you to know this now and not later when it could have been tragic news.
Keep in mind Joe Cokers' words to his song: You are so beautiful to me....
Love and forever to all of you from both of us!
posted by Kingsugar at 10:56 AM
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